On August 1st, 2015, I woke up at 6:30am and knew in a few hours, I would be marrying my best friend. My partner. My lover. My heart. I got up and opened the blinds. The sun poured in, stronger than it had been in weeks. The skies were bright blue and a smile crossed my face, so big it hurt.I wore my mala beads the girls had given me up until the moment I put on my wedding dress. Their coolness against my skin seemed to calm me and I got ready. Mom brought me a cup of coffee while we waited for the Starbucks delivery men (the groomsmen) to arrive. She gave me a hugged and I gave her one. I think she was more nervous than me in that moment. Patrick and Dad were some of the first people up that day. They got to work right away setting up the signage for the parking lot and moving the bench for the bus drop off to the bottom of the hill. These were the final touches. Aunonna and Meg were up before anyone else. With coffee in their hands, they were placing the flowers in the pool and hanging the few remaining decor pieces across the house. Makeup would be arriving soon, and I knew I only had a few more moments of peace. It turned out there was a big crash on the highway and a few roads under construction so both the makeup team and our photographer were late. But as far as problems went, that was pretty small. Sarah took me aside and handed me a little box and a note card. It was a small key on a delicate golden chain. Her friendship has been such a keystone for me over the years; it was such a fitting gift. I hugged her so tight as the warm sun beamed down upon us. Our hair & makeup team was really on point. They took the direction from the girls and made sure everyone looked like perfection without looking "made up". The little pieces of baby's breath they added to their hair were so adorable. It was an idea Aunonna and me so early on in the process, it was so nice to see it finally! We hung my dress up on the door, and I just stared at it. This was going to be the dress I would wear as I walked down the aisle. It glowed pink in the sunlight. Blush. Like my cheeks the first time Dan talked to me, and I sheepishly tried not to show how nervous I was chatting with him. The boys were moving around the last pieces of furniture downstairs. We watched them from the windows upstairs giddily as we knew they were finally doing some heavy lifting. When the flowers arrived, the excitement really ramped up! My mum and Sarah made sure all the pieces were there, and Sarah quickly ran me up a few bouquets for me to see. They were beyond magnificent and more than anything I could have imagined they would be. I couldn't wait to hold my bouquet. I'm not sure what the boys got up to while we were all getting ready. I've asked Dan to write me up a little vignette about his morning so maybe if and when he does, I'll post that sometime over here. After getting my hair and makeup done, Sarah also delivered me a package from done. I took it out on the balcony for a moment alone (well, not really) to read the card and open it up. The card was a sweet message from him, giving me an extra bought of support for the day to come, without him being beside me yet. Inside the beautifully pink box was a gorgeous flower crown made of gold and silver roses. My real flower crown for our wedding day might wither and wilt; this one surely wouldn't. Before donning my gown, the girls and I all gathered on the balcony to enjoy the view and take a few photos in our matching robes. It was a light moment of fun, a moment to be with just my girls before the day got away from us. The boys brought us up the bottle of bourbon they had dug up earlier that day. We each took a swig, for courage. It was sweet and as you took a drink you could smell the earth that still clung to the sides of the bottle. Both pleasant and peculiar at the same time. Katie set to putting on my earrings. I had been given Dan's grandmother's diamond earring to wear that day. I was so honoured they would lend them to me for the day, and they would be my "something borrowed". She is no longer with us, but I felt by wearing a piece of her with me, they were present in spirit with us that day. After the earrings had been on, it was time to put on the dress. I had tried it on meticulously over the last few days so I knew it would fit but it was still a relief when the girls zipped it up easily and clipped the last few buttons on. My "something new" for the day was my shoes. I knew I wanted flats since honestly I can barely wear heels. I found these pale blue shoes on ASOS and thought they were both simple and sophisticated at the same time. No one would ever really see them under the dress, but it felt nice to be anchored by these sweet little things. My something old was a lovely silver grey purse my mum had found at a vintage market a few years before. I had always cherished this little thing but never had a nice enough occasion to use it. But this was just the one. And my "something new" was my rose quartz necklace that matched my bridesmaids, my mum, Shelley and GG. It was so nice to know all us girls were connected like that day. There were too more details to go before it was time for me to meet with Dan in the wood for our first looks photos. Mum brought up my flower crown and veil, and the hairdressers tried to assemble it all on my head. I don't know why, but for some reason, look up at my mum and Sarah, knowing the moment was almost upon me, I began to cry. All the emotions of the day came welling up. I felt so happy. So wholly happy. I was always afraid I would feel sad on my wedding day. When you suffer from anxiety and depression, your greatest fear is it cropping up when you least want it to. But at the moment, having the two strongest women in my life smiling down on me. I felt wholly happy, ready to meet the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I gave everyone a hug and kiss and walked down the stairs. Ready to see my groom.